do you retreat?

I got together with a good friend last night for dinner and coffee while Lindsey and J are away. We had a great time of catching up, seeing what's new in life, work, family, and ministry. One thing we talked about struck a chord (or a nerve) with me. It screamed a message that I have thought on numerous occasions.
My friend was telling me about a men's retreat that was coming up with his church and said that he left the last one early and hoped he wouldn't want to do the same thing here. I asked why he left early, he responded, "Because it sucked." It was a great answer.

Now if you knew this guy, you would like him. He's a guy who cares more about God and people than anybody else I know, so if he said it sucked, I am sure it did, and not because he was uncomfortable or intimidated. Christian men's retreats can be lame. Not always, but too often, and here's some reasons why:

1) Lame and Boring Most guys I know don't like to sit in one spot for too long. I think it's a response to all the sitting we had to do in school growing up. We like to be doing things, being outside, building, climbing, whatever. Sitting and listening to a speaker multiple times during a weekend followed by other sessions of sitting and talking does not sound like a great time for me. Even Jesus did much of his teaching while people were walking places or eating or even working on fishing nets! Teach while doing.

2) Toughen Up Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Washington State is big on this right now (http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/proverbs/men-and-masculinity). He probably states it better than I do, but if you look at our church memberships (and even leadership) we see a lot of women and guys who I wouldn't put on my "tough man list." Sure, we need to be sensitive and supportive, loving, etc. But when guys get together its time to cut through the crap and get to the root of things in the ways men communicate and that's not necessarily the let's-talk-about-our-feelings-way; it's the face-up-to-your-responsibilities-as-a-man-way and just do it. There is a place to deal with our underlying issues, I just don't think its sitting around a large circle of men hugging it out.

3) Who We Are Christian man weekends (way better than "Men's Retreat" because real men don't retreat, they fight until the end, or at least resupply) are about reminding us who we were meant to be. Part of that is what we are called to do, but we need to remind each other that Jesus Christ calls us to be a disciple of him, a man tough enough to die without saying a word, and strong enough to "teach with authority" (Matthew 7:28-29). We need to teach and challenge men to be like that.

Again, I don't want to say that all Man weekends have each of these areas squarely in the "suck" category, but enough of them do to warrant this list. What are some of your experiences, good or bad? Should we move from Men's Retreat to Man weekend? You have my thoughts.