Wednesday, July 22, 2009

timing.

I don't think I have followed my advice from my last posting. I am still as stressed, over-tired, and somewhat directionless as I was before. But today I have had the opportunity to read and listen to a couple pieces of sage advice that (hopefully) will help me move past this lifestyle of being overwhelmed.

Last night, Lindsey challenged me with the thought that perhaps I am looking at life, and all that it entails, from the wrong perspective. She may be right, but turning around when travelling too fast rarely ends the way we intend. This posting from John Eldredge is the first piece of advice of the day: http://www.ransomedheartblog.com/john/2009/06/a-quart-in-my-tank.html

Like Eldredge writes, "It is so easy, dangerously easy to get caught up in the pace of this crazy world that rest feels uncomfortable; doing nothing feels awkward; as soon as we feel even a little bit refreshed, we’re back out on the highway, blasting ahead." This may be why I make myself so busy, but more so, I think that when we aren't sure where exactly we are going, we just go faster. I guess I'm not the type of guy who asks for directions when I get lost, I just go to where I think is right faster.

A good friend sent me this sermon to listen to today, and I think it hits exactly where I may be, what to do while waiting for what God has for you next:
http://media.northpointministries.org/northpointministries/podcasts/npcc/Sunday_Sermons/The_Waiting_Room/WaitingRoom_Part2.mp3

The three points of Gratitude, Persistence in Prayer, and Surrendering our plans for His, go against my immediate gratification, get it taken care of now so I don't have to worry about it personality. But its true. No matter what I do to try to make things happen quickly or in my type of timing, it won't work. For its not our timing, but God's, and the longer it takes me to recognize that, the longer I will spin my tires in vain.

As we tell Jonathan (repeatedly) when he's waiting for his dinner... be patient... it's coming.

Monday, July 6, 2009

deeper.

So it has been over two months since writing here. I don't feel like I have had much to say over those last two months, or maybe, I have actually had to say too much. I have been thinking alot lately about my use of time. When I am at work I have actually put myself on a "time study" to see how well my time management is (apparently I spend too much time on the computer) and at home it's either chasing around a 1 year old, planning house projects (that inevitably get delayed due to a more immediate house disaster), or working on various projects for Riverbend. Add to that list trying to nurture a relationship with my wife, keeping in touch with friends, and trying to stay healthy (and less stressed) and I don't know where to schedule all of this.

This isn't the first time I have struggled, or written, about not enough time. I spend half my time figuring out how to effectively spend my time. But where does the line between responsibility, relationships, work, and even church turn into overworked, over stressed, and missing the "easy yoke" that Jesus has promised us? There are people that say that we need to sacrifice in order to do great things. This, I believe, is true. But what are the things that are worth sacrificing? And what are the things that are actually great? I suppose that it is based on what we prioritize most.

But what happens when we super-size what our priorities are? If we say that a priority in our life is to share Jesus with others, does it actually matter if this is 2 people or 20? Perhaps we need to stop looking at what we want from a "bigger is better" perspective and move to a "deeper is better" perspective. It may be better to have a small group of friends who knows you enough to be invested in your life, than to know tons of people who think you are a nice guy. Perhaps it is better to spend your time building relationships with a couple people who may want to know more about Jesus than to find new ways to tell more people about Him.

Maybe, it might be time for me to focus on the people I can make a difference with, rather than try to make a difference with everybody.