call me johnny cash.

I walk a lot of lines. Some of those are good lines to walk, others are not. The majority are only ever in my head (and sometimes on the blog). These lines that I vacillate between, over, and around normally go something like this:

"Well, point A has some great points that I totally agree with; but point B also has some really good points that make a lot of sense. Neither of them seem to be wrong, they are using the Bible to back them up after all. But they can't both be right, as they are opposites."

I am pretty sure I'm not the only one that goes through these types of debates in their head (at least I really hope I'm not, because I usually answer myself back- does that make me mentally ill?) and they normally follow good books or discussions over a cup of coffee, glass of wine, or a great beer.

I could go through a list of these debates, but I think the point is more about the discussion/debate itself. I often wish that life was more cut and dry, that this line was a mile wide rather than razor thin. But life doesn't work that way. Life is a lot of and/or/if. I don't want to say that life is all about discovering which side of this line is "right" and which is "wrong" because if it was all about this, I would spend much more time on the "wrong" side if just out of sheer laziness. There are rights and wrongs, but the important part that I am learning is that it isn't a list, a rule, or always the same.

I love this idea that the New Covenant expresses in the Bible. For those that commit to follow God through Jesus Christ will be guided by the Holy Spirit who will "write these things on [our] hearts." What this means is that life is about following a line that the Holy Spirit shows us as we go. As we seek God's will and take the step (and engage that internal debate) we have the knowledge and hope that the Holy Spirit will lead us in paths of righteousness. No longer can I draw a line in the sand to stand on one side or the other; I'd rather follow that line being drawn to the One who is drawing it. This is my latest internal debate.

five.

The other day I was pointed to a blog posting by a guy named Dustin Neely. I had never heard of this person before, but his topic was something that was very pertinent to my life, or at least my week. The post is called "5 Hard Truths for Planters" refering of course to church planting. (http://theresurgence.com/series/5-hard-truths-for-planters) This past year and especially these past 5 or 6 months have been the busiest of my life. I have gotten the least amount of sleep, given more than I can remember giving, and shifting priorities in so many different directions. And everything he says is true about church planting.

But as I read this and had some conversations with people, I soon started to see that this is not unique to church planting. The lives we live are so filled with things that these 5 truths are needed to be heard by all of us, for all of our lives. Just fill in "life" for any place you see something refering to church planting and you'll see what I mean.

For the record, at any given moment I rank very low in implementing every one of these truths. Uh, now I'm violating number 2, leading to number 4, need to go do some number 5.

towers of blocks.

Life doesn't like to fit into neat compartments. Maybe it shouldn't have taken me 29 years to realize this somewhat profound statement, but it has. Up to this point I have had this idea that there is a way "life is supposed to be." Like, if I don't live up to this certain type of life, things would be incomplete. So, what I try to do is to fill it up with everything I think needs to be in that "supposed to be" life.

I have an amazing wife who loves me no matter what, a son who makes me laugh and smile (and never sleep), a job that I like most of the time, and a church that allows me to be involved in God's work. We live relatively close to our families, we have great neighbors to share the block with, we own our own home, two cars, and have a dog that doesn't throw up when he eats things he's not supposed to. We live in a middle class neighborhood, always have enough to cover the bills, and even get to travel a good deal.

But what I have learned is that as great as all of these things are, the more great things don't neccesarily equal mental stability. Jonathan, my son, really likes to play with the oversized lego blocks. Every morning, when I wish he was still sleeping, we go to our living room, Jonathan sits by his basket of blocks, tells me to sit next to him and starts to build. He really is pretty good, but what he likes to do is build tall skinny towers. he will take the blocks with only one or two knobs and build them higher and higher and then clap for himself. (he obviously had some help with this one). The problem is, it soon falls over because it lacks stability.

That is how my life can feel sometime. I keep piling things on top until it is about to crash. But don't we all do that at some point? Either that or we don't even use the blocks that are available to us. What I have realized, is that life doesn't fit together nicely, but it doesn't stop us from building our towers too high until it's too late. The challenge of life is to figure out how to build our lives in a way that will fit together in a sustainable way. How do our faith commitments interact with what we do at work, at home, or with our neighbors? How do we spend the time with our families and friends in a way that builds them up and glorifies Jesus? How do we find the time to do what God has called us to do and to not go insane doing it? In some ways, I think we need to find where these things intersect and spend the time there. Is there a way that our church responsibilities can be done in the same place/time as our family, work, and community work is done? Maybe or maybe not.

This is obviously something I don't have the answer to, and maybe I never will; all I know is that life isn't supposed to look exactly like something, because it can't. Life is more like the tower Jonathan made, with stuff sticking out here and there. Sometimes we just have to make sure it doesn't fall over.