I'm not sure if there is a perfect job for me. Maybe there is something that I would love to do that would pay our bills, support my family, and that I would enjoy- but I probably would get sick of that too because I'd want to be spending more time with my family or doing something else. It's not that I don't like work. I like to work hard, but there are times when I don't like working. Maybe if I could find what I wanted to be when I grow up... now that I'm a grown up.
I remember going to college 11 years ago and knowing that I could do or be anything that I wanted. Gradually life started to get in the way (and school loans)and that caused me to "need" to make a certain amount and no longer allowed us (Lindsey and I) to do whatever we wanted as far as work was concerned. Our goal in life has never been to make a ton of money, just enough to support my family, do something that meets my skills and passions, and most importantly serves God in some way. Now I need to add "makes enough to pay all our school loans" to that list. It stinks.
Over the next whatever amount of time, our goal is pay down that school debt (as it's the only debt we have beyond our mortgage) so our expenses are as minimal as possible in order to serve and not be limited in what or where God calls us to. Being in social work or ministry for the last 7 years has not helped this process go very quickly, but God has provided for us and we know this will be His timing when we reach this milestone.
My desire to live in the freedom of being whatever we want or God calls us to is summed up in this dialogue with J:
Me: "J, what do you want to be or do when you get to be a big boy?"
J: (thinks for a moment) "I want to be a chicken."
If that isn't the freedom to dream, I don't know what is.
I love it.
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