migrating

Well, 1 year, no posts. I'm working on some things that may be postable, but if you want to see them you will have to go to the new location at www.riverbendryan.blogspot.com See you there.

feeling old.

I'm currently sitting in the local coffee shop doing some work, and have just been surrounded by over a dozen high school students. I remember being that age and doing the "coffee house" thing with friends and feeling so cool as I had my hazelnut steamers (hot milk-no coffee...yet). But every year, when I run into high school students, they look younger, and I feel older. Then I start looking at it from the perspective that if they are 16 years old, my oldest son is closer in age to them than I am. Wow. Then I start to wonder, what are they thinking of the "old" guy writing away on his laptop. I'm pretty sure they may think I'm weird. Not that much has changed since high school.

But then I start to consider the potential in the room around me. I have been set on my path, by God's grace. But they have not. I have a wonderful wife, kids, been to college; I had a family cell phone the size of these impressionable students heads when I was their age, they each have smart phones. While I may be the weird guy in the corner and these students are looking through their phones and socially multi tasking in ways that my mind can't even begin to fathom, I have a better idea of what their potential is than they do (or at least than they care about). I know what they can do with the right instruction and right people to walk along side them. I know that we (as old weird people) can have an impact on students to be the leaders of the church now and in the future. It's where our legacy lies. It's why I'm thankful for Overflow (Riverbend's Youth Ministry) and River Rocks and Stepping Stones. These are being used by God to point our kids and youth toward the mission God invites us all to. Their mission isn't different than ours, its the same. They just have more energy without the caffeine. Think of what these kids will do caffeinated!

Jeremiah 1:7-9

another year of what are we here for?

The new year tends to be a good time to ask this question? I know its fashionable and almost obligatory to look back and ponder this concept of meaning and what we do as we look forward, but it always seems to come back to this same question. Ironically, no matter how many books or talks (or blogs) we read, we never actually answer this question, at least we never remember the answer. As I have started in my new full time position at Riverbend Community Church, part of what I get to do is help people walk the path of answering this question and it starts with asking that same question of us as a collective church. I believe the answer to this question is two words: Proclaim, Respond.

Most evangelical Christian's know the Westminster Catechism says the chief end of man is to Glorify God and enjoy Him forever. But I don't think most know what that actually means in real life. When we try to put that answer into our daily lives of work, family, hobbies, etc. we tend to do those things absent of where God is in those areas. At least, God quickly exits my mind when I am focusing on things of daily living. But what does it mean when we use this two word definition of our purpose? First, proclaim means that we are announcing the Good News of Jesus rescuing us from sin and death. Responding is everything we do BECAUSE Jesus saved us. This is the model we see throughout the Bible. New Testament letters constantly have the format of because Jesus save us, we there for do such and such. It normally then leads back to proclaiming the reason for our actions. As 1 Peter 3:15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

In proclaiming that good news and responding to it, we fulfill the purpose seen in the Westminster Catechism. But it is still hard to really understand what this looks like in our daily lives. Each of us this will probably look different, but the question to ask is not "what are we here for" but rather, "because Jesus saved me, how do I do ___________ differently?" What do you do differently because of what Jesus has done for you?

K-I-S-S.

I don't watch The Office normally, but one of the funniest lines I have heard from it is when Dwight is talking about the Acronym K.I.S.S and says, "Michael always says ‘K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid.’ Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time." And it's really true.

Riverbend has been blessed by God to see a lot of growth over the last two years. Basically we have gone from 20-30 people each Sunday to 130 or so. When growth happens this quickly things get a bit crazy and our natural inclination is to build programs and systems to cover the growth. These aren't bad things to do, and most of them are probably necessary, but it has a very real potential to not follow the K-I-S-S advice. Next thing we know we end up forgetting what our mission and purpose is.

We have a pretty straight forward mission statement (http://www.riverbendonline.org/about-us/our-dream) but even this can seem intimidating in the midst of a bunch of community groups, events, and gatherings that can vary greatly in feel and context. This got me thinking about what is our purpose as Christians and the Church in simple form.

First off, we know its about Jesus. It's about the Gospel he lived out, died for, and rose again in. It's not about what we have done or what we do, but what he has already done. It's simple, it's radical. We don't have to do anything besides receive it and follow Him. The follow Him is what I get overwhelmed with and try to do things in my own strength. There may be some opportunity for me to elaborate more on this in the coming weeks and months, but for the sake of the Spirit of this blog, I'm going to Keep It Simple:

Following Jesus is like entering a traffic circle. We enter in one side when we start following Jesus and we go around the circle, which has two views, Proclaim and Respond, and then we exit, which is when we die.

That's it, we proclaim Jesus and then we respond to that Gospel, which leads us to proclaim it again. It may look different depending on our culture, context and audience, but to be a follower of Jesus means we are responding to the Gospel of Jesus which in turn should lead us to Proclaiming that Gospel to others. Period.

Keep It Simple.

seven months of changes.

It has officially been seven months since the last posting on this blog. Oops. In my defense, there has been a lot going on:

1) New job at Guardian Life Insurance- my grant was running out at the Conference, and while I miss the work and the people, I needed to pay the bills. Thankful that God provided a place of employment. This job keeps me very busy with not a whole lot of flexibility- making posting tough.

2) Christmas/Birthday- December is always super busy. Holidays, parties, shopping, decorating, family time.

3) We had a baby! Levi Emory Knepp was born February 26th. Had a lot to do to finish up his room etc. and now that he is here, it has taken a while to adjust to life with 2 boys. He is very laid back and already sleeps better than Jonathan does now, but still does not leave a whole lot of time for posting.

The long and short of it is, that life will hopefully always take priority over this blog. It is not that I don't appreciate all three people who read it, but when it comes down to it, changes are inevitable and sometimes it takes a while to adjust to them. My hope is to be able to post something once a week or so, but I'd wait to see that to believe it. Until next time (maybe).

haunting.

It's been a while since my last post, things have been a bit on the busy side. We found out that Lindsey is pregnant with number 2 (a HUGE surprise, but awesome), I interviewed for and got a new job that I start in a few weeks, and various other asundry projects around the house (lots of painting and refinishing a floor). But with the fall season gracefully upon us, I have been biking to work a lot (due to a liscense suspension for not slowing down enough in a construction zone- as well as for the beautiful weather) and preparing for the holiday season that will too quickly arrive. The first one is this weekend.

Halloween has long had a debatable past. Lots of evangelicals have the "fall festival" which is basically Halloween with a different name. Some more "missional" churches embrace the whole thing as a way of "cultural outreach." I found this really interesting blog posting from Mars Hill Church on the history of Halloween, I recommend reading it: http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2009/10/29/the-history-of-halloween-revisted/

While reading it, check out this new band that I am really digging lately called The Civil Wars. They have some of the most haunting vocal melodies I have ever heard.

do you retreat?

I got together with a good friend last night for dinner and coffee while Lindsey and J are away. We had a great time of catching up, seeing what's new in life, work, family, and ministry. One thing we talked about struck a chord (or a nerve) with me. It screamed a message that I have thought on numerous occasions.
My friend was telling me about a men's retreat that was coming up with his church and said that he left the last one early and hoped he wouldn't want to do the same thing here. I asked why he left early, he responded, "Because it sucked." It was a great answer.

Now if you knew this guy, you would like him. He's a guy who cares more about God and people than anybody else I know, so if he said it sucked, I am sure it did, and not because he was uncomfortable or intimidated. Christian men's retreats can be lame. Not always, but too often, and here's some reasons why:

1) Lame and Boring Most guys I know don't like to sit in one spot for too long. I think it's a response to all the sitting we had to do in school growing up. We like to be doing things, being outside, building, climbing, whatever. Sitting and listening to a speaker multiple times during a weekend followed by other sessions of sitting and talking does not sound like a great time for me. Even Jesus did much of his teaching while people were walking places or eating or even working on fishing nets! Teach while doing.

2) Toughen Up Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Washington State is big on this right now (http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/proverbs/men-and-masculinity). He probably states it better than I do, but if you look at our church memberships (and even leadership) we see a lot of women and guys who I wouldn't put on my "tough man list." Sure, we need to be sensitive and supportive, loving, etc. But when guys get together its time to cut through the crap and get to the root of things in the ways men communicate and that's not necessarily the let's-talk-about-our-feelings-way; it's the face-up-to-your-responsibilities-as-a-man-way and just do it. There is a place to deal with our underlying issues, I just don't think its sitting around a large circle of men hugging it out.

3) Who We Are Christian man weekends (way better than "Men's Retreat" because real men don't retreat, they fight until the end, or at least resupply) are about reminding us who we were meant to be. Part of that is what we are called to do, but we need to remind each other that Jesus Christ calls us to be a disciple of him, a man tough enough to die without saying a word, and strong enough to "teach with authority" (Matthew 7:28-29). We need to teach and challenge men to be like that.

Again, I don't want to say that all Man weekends have each of these areas squarely in the "suck" category, but enough of them do to warrant this list. What are some of your experiences, good or bad? Should we move from Men's Retreat to Man weekend? You have my thoughts.

a chicken is a good job.

I'm not sure if there is a perfect job for me. Maybe there is something that I would love to do that would pay our bills, support my family, and that I would enjoy- but I probably would get sick of that too because I'd want to be spending more time with my family or doing something else. It's not that I don't like work. I like to work hard, but there are times when I don't like working. Maybe if I could find what I wanted to be when I grow up... now that I'm a grown up.

I remember going to college 11 years ago and knowing that I could do or be anything that I wanted. Gradually life started to get in the way (and school loans)and that caused me to "need" to make a certain amount and no longer allowed us (Lindsey and I) to do whatever we wanted as far as work was concerned. Our goal in life has never been to make a ton of money, just enough to support my family, do something that meets my skills and passions, and most importantly serves God in some way. Now I need to add "makes enough to pay all our school loans" to that list. It stinks.

Over the next whatever amount of time, our goal is pay down that school debt (as it's the only debt we have beyond our mortgage) so our expenses are as minimal as possible in order to serve and not be limited in what or where God calls us to. Being in social work or ministry for the last 7 years has not helped this process go very quickly, but God has provided for us and we know this will be His timing when we reach this milestone.

My desire to live in the freedom of being whatever we want or God calls us to is summed up in this dialogue with J:

Me: "J, what do you want to be or do when you get to be a big boy?"

J: (thinks for a moment) "I want to be a chicken."

If that isn't the freedom to dream, I don't know what is.

farewell to youth.

I am not looking forward to my 30th birthday. It's months away, but I am pretty sure I have been avoiding thinking about it since I turned 27 and was officially in my "late 20's." Thirty isn't really all that big of a deal I suppose, but it's during these past couple years and as I move forward that those dreams of my youth are dashed from ever being a possibility.

We all have them I'm sure, the idea that I can be a professional athlete, or rockstar, fireman, Alaskan Fisherman (ala Deadliest Catch) or whatever other dream we may have had. They fade away into childhood fantasy or abrubtly hit us when we realize most of the NFL (except Brett Farve) is multiple years younger than we are now. And as a guy this can be hard because these realizations often are accompanied by graying, migrating hair; injuries that take longer to heal; and pick up sports games with multiple conversations that end with "my brain said I could do that but my body wouldn't follow."

I had another opportunity to see a portion of my youth this past weekend. The Juliana Theory, may favorite band perhaps ever, was playing a farewell/reunion tour celebrating the 10 year anniversary (see you tube clip below) of their album "Emotion is Dead." It was a great show and they rocked out for over 2 hours and 30 songs. But it was also different from the shows that I remember going to. Rather than seeing a bunch of teenagers and college students it was mainly 20's and 30's age people that were still holding onto the "rock and roll" style, but honestly, looking quite different from the Juliana Theory's hayday (and I'm not talking about the band members). It was an interesting commentary on my age and generation I think.

Life is very different than it was even 5 or 6 years ago. I'm married, have a son with another kid on the way, working a lot with no more summer breaks, and even my interests have changed somewhat. But while many of my youthful dreams have gone (pro snowboarder I am not), life is better in a lot of ways. I am able to share new dreams, or different versions of old dreams with a family. Things I loved to do when I was little are now ok for me to do again with my son without looking foolish. I am able to pursue new dreams in a more thoughtful and meaningful manner. The dreams I have now are more likely to be fulfilled than the ones I held when I was young. But it's still hard.

I was reminded again last night, that getting older, having less energy, more responsibility, and less money are not and should not be the death of our dreams and passions. We should pursue these things and enjoy the fact that we get to pursue them with others, not just ourselves. In any case, one truth remains from my youth; you still need a good song to rock out to while going after our dreams- here's a good one to start with:

an outfit.

I've started watching the new HBO mini-series, The Pacific, on Sunday nights over at my dad's house. This show is the story of the Marines 1st Division in the PTO in World War II. I really liked Band of Brothers which was the original HBO mini-series on the Airborne in Europe during that same time. The Pacific is good so far, but not quite Band of Brothers. You should check them out. These are some of my favorite types of stories, books, and movies, and I'm sure I'm not the only guy who would agree with that. I am of the opinion that guys like these type of scenarios not because we love violence and explosions, but because we were made to.

I often times find myself wondering how I may fit into something larger, something worthwhile, and who is alongside me in that struggle. I know that I have my wife, but there is a difference between how Lindsey and I fight for our family and justice, and how a group of men fight for things. Norman MacLean in his book Young Men and Fire called this an "outfit."

"an 'outfit' as men call themselves when they take on the same tough job, have to be thought a little bit crazy to try it, have to stick together and share the same training to get it done, and shortly afterwards have to go to town together and stick together if one of them starts losing a fight in a bar. They back each other and imitate each other (28)."

Men want to be a part of an outfit, where they need to stick together, and fight for a common cause. Much like the sports teams we were a part of in High School or College, we long to be battling through practice and competition to reach a collective goal (This isn't just for men or all men per se, but I think most of us would fall into this category).

But here's the challenge. We know that we ARE part of a larger story (for those of us who are Christians) and that we have a role to play. The problem lies in the idea that we don't know what that looks like. Maybe some of this comes from the emasculation of the Church-- where we don't see how battling for love actually plays out in a tough, masculine way. We don't have to literally "fight" for people's souls. We can really just be lone individuals who remember a hint of that brotherhood or outfit we had by playing church softball. But we still long to develop the relationships with other guys that is forged through adversity (or maybe even combat) that church softball will never bring.

I don't know exactly what this looks like in real life, or maybe even my own life. Sometimes one thinks about joining something that will try to meet that need, a new job, a fight club, or maybe even gangs. I don't think these will ultimately meet the underlying need though. Until we can find real life, masculine, tough-guy ways for men to be involved in the larger battle of even eternal life, I think we are going to see men who aren't sure of their calling, longing for something "more," or are emasculated to the point of being ineffective leaders. Jesus had his "outfit" of disciples. He taught and trained them true manhood, and he led them through adversity and combat. We need to join together and form new "outfits" for today. And we need them soon. I'm up for suggestions.

stickers are nice.

I was up early with Jonathan this morning reading him a book when he started pulling stickers off of a paper and sticking them on my forehead. I asked him, "what are you doing?" He patted me and said, "sticker, nice!" It brings me joy to think about how Jonathan was doing what he thought would make me look nice (even though I had four multi color smiley faces on my head). It was his intention to bring beauty to his daddy in the way he knew best. And I loved him for it even as I made sure they were all removed before leaving for work.

I'm pretty sure God the Father takes the same joy in us, as we try, sometimes in crazy ways, to show him to be as "nice" as we possibly can. It's comforting to know that as crazy as people may think we are, God loves us all the more for those crazy moments when we seek to show HIS beauty.

call me johnny cash.

I walk a lot of lines. Some of those are good lines to walk, others are not. The majority are only ever in my head (and sometimes on the blog). These lines that I vacillate between, over, and around normally go something like this:

"Well, point A has some great points that I totally agree with; but point B also has some really good points that make a lot of sense. Neither of them seem to be wrong, they are using the Bible to back them up after all. But they can't both be right, as they are opposites."

I am pretty sure I'm not the only one that goes through these types of debates in their head (at least I really hope I'm not, because I usually answer myself back- does that make me mentally ill?) and they normally follow good books or discussions over a cup of coffee, glass of wine, or a great beer.

I could go through a list of these debates, but I think the point is more about the discussion/debate itself. I often wish that life was more cut and dry, that this line was a mile wide rather than razor thin. But life doesn't work that way. Life is a lot of and/or/if. I don't want to say that life is all about discovering which side of this line is "right" and which is "wrong" because if it was all about this, I would spend much more time on the "wrong" side if just out of sheer laziness. There are rights and wrongs, but the important part that I am learning is that it isn't a list, a rule, or always the same.

I love this idea that the New Covenant expresses in the Bible. For those that commit to follow God through Jesus Christ will be guided by the Holy Spirit who will "write these things on [our] hearts." What this means is that life is about following a line that the Holy Spirit shows us as we go. As we seek God's will and take the step (and engage that internal debate) we have the knowledge and hope that the Holy Spirit will lead us in paths of righteousness. No longer can I draw a line in the sand to stand on one side or the other; I'd rather follow that line being drawn to the One who is drawing it. This is my latest internal debate.

five.

The other day I was pointed to a blog posting by a guy named Dustin Neely. I had never heard of this person before, but his topic was something that was very pertinent to my life, or at least my week. The post is called "5 Hard Truths for Planters" refering of course to church planting. (http://theresurgence.com/series/5-hard-truths-for-planters) This past year and especially these past 5 or 6 months have been the busiest of my life. I have gotten the least amount of sleep, given more than I can remember giving, and shifting priorities in so many different directions. And everything he says is true about church planting.

But as I read this and had some conversations with people, I soon started to see that this is not unique to church planting. The lives we live are so filled with things that these 5 truths are needed to be heard by all of us, for all of our lives. Just fill in "life" for any place you see something refering to church planting and you'll see what I mean.

For the record, at any given moment I rank very low in implementing every one of these truths. Uh, now I'm violating number 2, leading to number 4, need to go do some number 5.

towers of blocks.

Life doesn't like to fit into neat compartments. Maybe it shouldn't have taken me 29 years to realize this somewhat profound statement, but it has. Up to this point I have had this idea that there is a way "life is supposed to be." Like, if I don't live up to this certain type of life, things would be incomplete. So, what I try to do is to fill it up with everything I think needs to be in that "supposed to be" life.

I have an amazing wife who loves me no matter what, a son who makes me laugh and smile (and never sleep), a job that I like most of the time, and a church that allows me to be involved in God's work. We live relatively close to our families, we have great neighbors to share the block with, we own our own home, two cars, and have a dog that doesn't throw up when he eats things he's not supposed to. We live in a middle class neighborhood, always have enough to cover the bills, and even get to travel a good deal.

But what I have learned is that as great as all of these things are, the more great things don't neccesarily equal mental stability. Jonathan, my son, really likes to play with the oversized lego blocks. Every morning, when I wish he was still sleeping, we go to our living room, Jonathan sits by his basket of blocks, tells me to sit next to him and starts to build. He really is pretty good, but what he likes to do is build tall skinny towers. he will take the blocks with only one or two knobs and build them higher and higher and then clap for himself. (he obviously had some help with this one). The problem is, it soon falls over because it lacks stability.

That is how my life can feel sometime. I keep piling things on top until it is about to crash. But don't we all do that at some point? Either that or we don't even use the blocks that are available to us. What I have realized, is that life doesn't fit together nicely, but it doesn't stop us from building our towers too high until it's too late. The challenge of life is to figure out how to build our lives in a way that will fit together in a sustainable way. How do our faith commitments interact with what we do at work, at home, or with our neighbors? How do we spend the time with our families and friends in a way that builds them up and glorifies Jesus? How do we find the time to do what God has called us to do and to not go insane doing it? In some ways, I think we need to find where these things intersect and spend the time there. Is there a way that our church responsibilities can be done in the same place/time as our family, work, and community work is done? Maybe or maybe not.

This is obviously something I don't have the answer to, and maybe I never will; all I know is that life isn't supposed to look exactly like something, because it can't. Life is more like the tower Jonathan made, with stuff sticking out here and there. Sometimes we just have to make sure it doesn't fall over.

faith and failure.

When I was in middle school, there was one event that scared me more than any other event to that date. I was sitting in my middle school science class and the teacher was giving us a list of our grades for the semester and informing us how we could calculate our grade. I followed the directions and the number that came out indicated I was failing the class. A cold sweat broke out and tunnel vision started to set in- I felt as if I was going into shock as I walked up to the teachers desk to ask how this could be. It turns out, I missed a grade and was actually doing quite well, but the experience highlighted something about me. I was deathly afraid of failing.

Now I didn't grow up in a family that was militant about grades. My parents were very good at instilling a love for learning and a give it your best effort type of approach to learning. But one thing that I have put on myself over my life has been a bit of a perfectionist quality, or at least a "don't screw it up" mentality. I think this has kept me from doing a lot. I was thinking about it the other night as I pondered what God has for my life. I have been really blessed with all God has provided for me to this point, and I would say that I have taken a fair share of risks in those endeavors. But I started to question whether I would put everything on the line if there was a possibility of failure.

Growing up in the middle class and now as an adult seeing the importance of being wise with our money, saving for retirement, or other forms of good stewardship of our finances is important. Our culture (at times) promotes these type of biblical principals. But then, I look at the examples of Jesus and the apostles in the New Testament and I start to wonder. Jesus told his disciples to take nothing with them when he sent them out, take up their crosses (death-the risk of everything) and to not worry about tomorrow. If Jesus sends me some place am I willing to take that approach? But it goes more than just financial. Am I like Jonah in not wanting to take the risk of doing something because I think I might fail? Paul writes a quote from Jesus saying, "My grace is sufficient for you... my power is made perfect in weakness." In essence, we never really experience all God has to offer us until we do risk everything.

If I fail, while our culture may view this as a deficiency on my part, God operates on the opposite. If I fail, even when he calls me to it, He gains. The paradox of the Gospel does not go unnoticed. I cannot have true faith, unless I am willing to truly fail. Maybe we need to start living this way in our churches and in our lives.

short cuts and crashes.

Part of my routine for the past few months has been attempting to bike commute to work a couple times a week. If you have never experienced bike commuting, I highly recommend it. It's a great way to get a work out, transport yourself, and slow down life a little bit. On top of that you save money and the environment. Pretty much a win win all around.

So the other day I decided to try to find a route that was not quite as hilly. In order to do that I figured I might be able to stay along the river for longer and that would save some time. During this experiment I found a great old canal trail to do some "off road" biking. I always liked getting off the roads into the inconsistant paths of nature and bringing some adventure to my commute. I got into work alright, not really saving any time, but I had some fun in doing it. I figured I would give it a try for the way home later that day.

It's a windy day and I'm thinking to myself that this will be even better, getting off road to stay out of the wind. I'm pushing myself pretty good going over leaves, gravel, small sticks, and whatever else nature will throw my way. I get through the first half of the ride home and come to a point where I decide to try to follow the river even longer. This portion of the trail goes between railroad and what's called "single track" which pretty much means "skinny with lots of branches." I'm doing well to this point so I take this harder route. Back in my prime, this is what I would have really enjoyed (and I did this time too) but I come to a section where its a very steep down hill with a sharp right hand turn at the bottom. I start down it and start making the turn a little too early projecting myself over the front of my bike landing on my back with the bike on top of me. Impressive.

My life tends to be like this. Instead of enjoying the moment and the time I have in it, I will usually look for the quickest way to the next "stopping point." I was doing this so much with my bike commuting that I actually removed my watch because I would time myself every trip to see if I could beat my time. When I do anything with the point of making a short cut to just save time, I typically crash, from either flipping over the front or just burning out.

It was a fun ride home, though it did take me 7 minutes longer than normal. Instead of finding an easier way, I found that it was only easier in theory. What else am I trying to find a short cut for?

the (community) cost of unemployment

In a world impacted by a deep recession, we all realize that unemployment hurts those who have lost jobs. People lose their source of income, they play into the credit game to make ends meet, and next thing they know they are facing the very real face of poverty in their own lives. Those of us who have been blessed enough to “weather” the recession relatively unscathed are overlooking a hidden reality though. The unemployment of others in our community is costly to us who are neighbors to the unemployed as well.

When an individual becomes unemployed they often receive social benefits designed to temporarily assist in sustaining an individual or family. Government programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and food stamps or private assistance programs are available to help individuals and families through these ordeals. However, these cost community money. According to www.modestneeds.org, this can be as high as $8664.36 per person each year for public assistance.

The other side of this coin is the amount of revenue a community loses when an individual is not working. If a worker is making $10 an hour (what many would consider a “living” wage), they have a take home pay of $17,777.16 each year that is predominately reinvested into the community (rent, food, etc.). When both aspects are taken into consideration, unemployment has a total effect of $26,441.52 on the community per each unemployed individual!

We need to evaluate what our inacation actually costs. It's easy for us to look at this and place blame, "why aren't these people working? they should just get a job!". What are we doing to assist in this? It's time to stop looking out only for ourselves, but to truly be neighbors to those who most need it. It's messy, it's hard, it's frustrating, it's right. Build your community. What are some of the ways you are developing your local community?

love and wrath.

Today I was reading Psalms 2. As I was reading through it a couple things stood out to me. First, the significant foreshadowing of Jesus' ministry (see vs. 2, 7-8). Secondly, the emphasis the author puts on the wrath and vengeance of the Lord.

God is all powerful, creator of the universe, all knowing, etc., but I sometimes have trouble putting this idea that "his wrath can flare up in a moment" (Psalm 2:12) and "God so loved the world" (John 3:16). Maybe you are with me on this. But then I try to put myself into as similar a position as possible (i.e. God's view rather than my own), and I think I have come to somewhat of a better understanding of this dichotomy. Let me explain.

I work in Center City Allentown helping (or trying to) chronically unemployed and the homeless try to find work (and actually succeed in their positions). When I start working with somebody, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, I encourage them, give them opportunities for support, and as many chances to "move ahead" as possible. Some individuals respond well to this, they show increased self esteem, a new attitude towards finding a job, and eventually succeed. Others, however, choose not to follow the directives of the program, start pushing the limits to exploit the benefits, and even sell drugs outside the building during training hours. Despite my desire to help them and see them succeed, I have to admit, they make me extremely angry- even to the point of removing them from the program.

One would say that I have every right to remove them from the program. They choose not to follow the directions of the program, even though those rules lead to many benefits for them, and they go their own way, putting them back into the same destructive cycles they were a part of before they entered the program. God has set up the same thing for us: His Son IS the directive he has given us. The benefits of following Jesus are numerous; right relationship with God, Heaven, joy that surpasses understanding, etc. God has done a lot to make those things possible. Ultimately, if we choose to go our own way rather than follow God, he is going to be upset- as Psalms 2 points out.

God's wrath is a wrath of frustration, not hate. It is because He has loved so much that his wrath is so great. Not an easy thought to get past, but in the end, would we really do it differently?

the time has come.... and gone.

Looking back over this past month, things have been hectic to say the least. When you first start talking about launching a new church (or any major undertaking for that matter) there are countless twists, turns, surprises, and joys that you encounter. And all this work is done and prayed through and thought about until you get to a pinnacle, a crux of the issue. And then it's gone.

We have experienced this at Riverbend. We have done (most of) everything we needed to do to launch a new community of faith in the Lehigh Valley. We didn't want to stop at just one launch day, so we made a launch month to celebrate and kick off this adventure. And now that time has come and gone and we are at a very new point. We have transitioned our "Advance" Team to a "Leadership" Team, we have made the jump from preparing monthly gatherings to going weekly, and we have even doubled the number of community group studies. But what we find now, is that our reliance on God to maintain us and support us has grown exponentially. Much of what took us a year and a half of labor to prepare for now has to be done in a week. We have to now transition our roles to not only setting direction and systems, but to training leaders to minister to those that God brings through our lives. We have to make sure we are who God created Riverbend to be.

Our launch on September 13th was a huge pinnacle for us, and God richly blessed that occasion. But what I am realizing now is that God, even through the messiness of life, is daily giving me opportunities to rely on Him for these challenges and moments. I am growing increasingly certain that the harder I try in my own effort, the harder the problem seems. God has given us the blessing of being a part of HIS work, He has not given me the assignment of doing it for Him. As I write this I am struck with the feeling that I may have been looking for MY time to come, and all the work I was doing to make that happen. Jesus, may my time be gone, and your time come.

Check out what God is doing at www.riverbendonline.org

Numb3rs.

Yea, there is a TV show by that name. I have to admit I've never seen it. My understanding is that it is a crime mystery show that uses math and numbers to solve whatever the crime is on that show. I'm not really sure how one makes a show about that, but actuaries around the country are probably really excited.

Numbers can say a lot and I think that, when used correctly, they can help to at least identify problems that need to be worked on. This is true, even in the church. I ran across this interesting article from the Gallup organization (http://www.gallup.com/poll/117382/Church-Going-Among-Catholics-Slides-Tie-Protestants.aspx). In the article, it discusses how individuals who consider themselves "Christian" regularly attend church. The fascinating statistic is not that Catholics are now on par with Protestant Christians in their weekly church attendance, but rather, how on average, only 45% of all Christians say they attended church within the last week.

Now, statistics can say a lot of different things, and these numbers may be variable based on the time of year, area of the country (http://www.gallup.com/poll/122075/Religious-Identity-States-Differ-Widely.aspx), and age (only 38% of Protestant and 30% of Catholics in their 20's have attended church in the past week) of the sample, but I don't believe any of these variables hit the root of the issue. Church is losing its draw and attendance because we, as the Church, have lost sight of what Church is. For many of us, church is something we go to on Sunday's to hear a message, sing some songs, give our money, and maybe get some coffee. For others, church is the place that makes us get up early on the weekend, or miss the big game. It's something that we do on one or maybe two days of the week. We can check it off our list, put it on our schedule, and if we can't make it for a while, that's OK because our faith is personal. This idea is also unbiblical.

When we look at idea of the Church in the New Testament, it is vibrant and alive. It is a community of individuals where life is shared and individuals are urged on in the faith. Jesus did not say, "go into all the world and put on good shows and give good speeches about me." He said that we are to "go and make disciples", to help bring people into relationship with Him. This idea of community runs rampant throughout the Bible. Paul even says, "don't give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing." Church then turns into something we are, as a collective group. Really, without a community of other believers, our faith is lacking at best, and non-existent at worst.

Now the Church has not always been all that it should be, and some people have very good reasons as to why they don't go to Church. Abuse, scandals, bad doctrine, hypocrisy; there is no such thing as the perfect church. But truly living in a community of faith means that we don't go into it thinking about "what can this church do for me?" but rather, we enter into a partnership to help others seek and honor God according to the scriptures and to be helped in that process. We come together to fight against our spiritual enemies, for our world, our marriages, our faith, our communities. Our culture has lost a vital ally when the Church becomes something we do rather than something we are.

This is the great part of being involved in a new church start up. We don't have to work through the years of tradition and bad habits that have brought many churches to the point of irrelevance. Instead, we can focus our efforts on being a community where Jesus is exalted above all else and we can partner with one another to live out God's passions in the Lehigh Valley and around the world. You can check out how we are (trying) to do this at www.riverbendonline.org