farewell to youth.

I am not looking forward to my 30th birthday. It's months away, but I am pretty sure I have been avoiding thinking about it since I turned 27 and was officially in my "late 20's." Thirty isn't really all that big of a deal I suppose, but it's during these past couple years and as I move forward that those dreams of my youth are dashed from ever being a possibility.

We all have them I'm sure, the idea that I can be a professional athlete, or rockstar, fireman, Alaskan Fisherman (ala Deadliest Catch) or whatever other dream we may have had. They fade away into childhood fantasy or abrubtly hit us when we realize most of the NFL (except Brett Farve) is multiple years younger than we are now. And as a guy this can be hard because these realizations often are accompanied by graying, migrating hair; injuries that take longer to heal; and pick up sports games with multiple conversations that end with "my brain said I could do that but my body wouldn't follow."

I had another opportunity to see a portion of my youth this past weekend. The Juliana Theory, may favorite band perhaps ever, was playing a farewell/reunion tour celebrating the 10 year anniversary (see you tube clip below) of their album "Emotion is Dead." It was a great show and they rocked out for over 2 hours and 30 songs. But it was also different from the shows that I remember going to. Rather than seeing a bunch of teenagers and college students it was mainly 20's and 30's age people that were still holding onto the "rock and roll" style, but honestly, looking quite different from the Juliana Theory's hayday (and I'm not talking about the band members). It was an interesting commentary on my age and generation I think.

Life is very different than it was even 5 or 6 years ago. I'm married, have a son with another kid on the way, working a lot with no more summer breaks, and even my interests have changed somewhat. But while many of my youthful dreams have gone (pro snowboarder I am not), life is better in a lot of ways. I am able to share new dreams, or different versions of old dreams with a family. Things I loved to do when I was little are now ok for me to do again with my son without looking foolish. I am able to pursue new dreams in a more thoughtful and meaningful manner. The dreams I have now are more likely to be fulfilled than the ones I held when I was young. But it's still hard.

I was reminded again last night, that getting older, having less energy, more responsibility, and less money are not and should not be the death of our dreams and passions. We should pursue these things and enjoy the fact that we get to pursue them with others, not just ourselves. In any case, one truth remains from my youth; you still need a good song to rock out to while going after our dreams- here's a good one to start with:

what to do with passion.

I am really a big fan of John Eldredge and his writing. If you haven't read any of his works, you really should. He promotes our relationship with Christ, the battles of spiritual warfare, and how our passions and desires fit in to this faith we call Christianity. I got an update from his blog today and it truly resonated with what I believe some of my motives have been in launching Riverbend Community Church. Take a look at it here:

http://www.ransomedheartblog.com/john/2009/02/finding-church.html

I believe that what the church is lacking, at least in America, is a passion for life itself and all it has to offer. As Eldredge states, we are called to live life to the fullest, and you can't do that by supressing your passions. One of the precepts of Riverbend, is this thing called the New Covenant. Jesus talks about this in the gospels, but in essence, it is God giving us passions and desires that match His. But sometimes it feels as if the North American church is paralyzed by this idea of "passion" and "desire" of anything that isn't a praise song or Bible reading. I am glad that Riverbend is not one of these types of Churches. God has given us his Word, his edicts, his direction to help guide us, yes, but more so, to point us in a direction of knowing Him in relationship. That is the purpose of a church- to experience life (with all the passions God has given us) with others who are pursuing a relationship with the Maker of All. What's your purpose for Church?