When I was in middle school, there was one event that scared me more than any other event to that date. I was sitting in my middle school science class and the teacher was giving us a list of our grades for the semester and informing us how we could calculate our grade. I followed the directions and the number that came out indicated I was failing the class. A cold sweat broke out and tunnel vision started to set in- I felt as if I was going into shock as I walked up to the teachers desk to ask how this could be. It turns out, I missed a grade and was actually doing quite well, but the experience highlighted something about me. I was deathly afraid of failing.
Now I didn't grow up in a family that was militant about grades. My parents were very good at instilling a love for learning and a give it your best effort type of approach to learning. But one thing that I have put on myself over my life has been a bit of a perfectionist quality, or at least a "don't screw it up" mentality. I think this has kept me from doing a lot. I was thinking about it the other night as I pondered what God has for my life. I have been really blessed with all God has provided for me to this point, and I would say that I have taken a fair share of risks in those endeavors. But I started to question whether I would put everything on the line if there was a possibility of failure.
Growing up in the middle class and now as an adult seeing the importance of being wise with our money, saving for retirement, or other forms of good stewardship of our finances is important. Our culture (at times) promotes these type of biblical principals. But then, I look at the examples of Jesus and the apostles in the New Testament and I start to wonder. Jesus told his disciples to take nothing with them when he sent them out, take up their crosses (death-the risk of everything) and to not worry about tomorrow. If Jesus sends me some place am I willing to take that approach? But it goes more than just financial. Am I like Jonah in not wanting to take the risk of doing something because I think I might fail? Paul writes a quote from Jesus saying, "My grace is sufficient for you... my power is made perfect in weakness." In essence, we never really experience all God has to offer us until we do risk everything.
If I fail, while our culture may view this as a deficiency on my part, God operates on the opposite. If I fail, even when he calls me to it, He gains. The paradox of the Gospel does not go unnoticed. I cannot have true faith, unless I am willing to truly fail. Maybe we need to start living this way in our churches and in our lives.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
short cuts and crashes.
Part of my routine for the past few months has been attempting to bike commute to work a couple times a week. If you have never experienced bike commuting, I highly recommend it. It's a great way to get a work out, transport yourself, and slow down life a little bit. On top of that you save money and the environment. Pretty much a win win all around.
So the other day I decided to try to find a route that was not quite as hilly. In order to do that I figured I might be able to stay along the river for longer and that would save some time. During this experiment I found a great old canal trail to do some "off road" biking. I always liked getting off the roads into the inconsistant paths of nature and bringing some adventure to my commute. I got into work alright, not really saving any time, but I had some fun in doing it. I figured I would give it a try for the way home later that day.
It's a windy day and I'm thinking to myself that this will be even better, getting off road to stay out of the wind. I'm pushing myself pretty good going over leaves, gravel, small sticks, and whatever else nature will throw my way. I get through the first half of the ride home and come to a point where I decide to try to follow the river even longer. This portion of the trail goes between railroad and what's called "single track" which pretty much means "skinny with lots of branches." I'm doing well to this point so I take this harder route. Back in my prime, this is what I would have really enjoyed (and I did this time too) but I come to a section where its a very steep down hill with a sharp right hand turn at the bottom. I start down it and start making the turn a little too early projecting myself over the front of my bike landing on my back with the bike on top of me. Impressive.
My life tends to be like this. Instead of enjoying the moment and the time I have in it, I will usually look for the quickest way to the next "stopping point." I was doing this so much with my bike commuting that I actually removed my watch because I would time myself every trip to see if I could beat my time. When I do anything with the point of making a short cut to just save time, I typically crash, from either flipping over the front or just burning out.
It was a fun ride home, though it did take me 7 minutes longer than normal. Instead of finding an easier way, I found that it was only easier in theory. What else am I trying to find a short cut for?
So the other day I decided to try to find a route that was not quite as hilly. In order to do that I figured I might be able to stay along the river for longer and that would save some time. During this experiment I found a great old canal trail to do some "off road" biking. I always liked getting off the roads into the inconsistant paths of nature and bringing some adventure to my commute. I got into work alright, not really saving any time, but I had some fun in doing it. I figured I would give it a try for the way home later that day.
It's a windy day and I'm thinking to myself that this will be even better, getting off road to stay out of the wind. I'm pushing myself pretty good going over leaves, gravel, small sticks, and whatever else nature will throw my way. I get through the first half of the ride home and come to a point where I decide to try to follow the river even longer. This portion of the trail goes between railroad and what's called "single track" which pretty much means "skinny with lots of branches." I'm doing well to this point so I take this harder route. Back in my prime, this is what I would have really enjoyed (and I did this time too) but I come to a section where its a very steep down hill with a sharp right hand turn at the bottom. I start down it and start making the turn a little too early projecting myself over the front of my bike landing on my back with the bike on top of me. Impressive.
My life tends to be like this. Instead of enjoying the moment and the time I have in it, I will usually look for the quickest way to the next "stopping point." I was doing this so much with my bike commuting that I actually removed my watch because I would time myself every trip to see if I could beat my time. When I do anything with the point of making a short cut to just save time, I typically crash, from either flipping over the front or just burning out.
It was a fun ride home, though it did take me 7 minutes longer than normal. Instead of finding an easier way, I found that it was only easier in theory. What else am I trying to find a short cut for?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
the (community) cost of unemployment
In a world impacted by a deep recession, we all realize that unemployment hurts those who have lost jobs. People lose their source of income, they play into the credit game to make ends meet, and next thing they know they are facing the very real face of poverty in their own lives. Those of us who have been blessed enough to “weather” the recession relatively unscathed are overlooking a hidden reality though. The unemployment of others in our community is costly to us who are neighbors to the unemployed as well.
When an individual becomes unemployed they often receive social benefits designed to temporarily assist in sustaining an individual or family. Government programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and food stamps or private assistance programs are available to help individuals and families through these ordeals. However, these cost community money. According to www.modestneeds.org, this can be as high as $8664.36 per person each year for public assistance.
The other side of this coin is the amount of revenue a community loses when an individual is not working. If a worker is making $10 an hour (what many would consider a “living” wage), they have a take home pay of $17,777.16 each year that is predominately reinvested into the community (rent, food, etc.). When both aspects are taken into consideration, unemployment has a total effect of $26,441.52 on the community per each unemployed individual!
We need to evaluate what our inacation actually costs. It's easy for us to look at this and place blame, "why aren't these people working? they should just get a job!". What are we doing to assist in this? It's time to stop looking out only for ourselves, but to truly be neighbors to those who most need it. It's messy, it's hard, it's frustrating, it's right. Build your community. What are some of the ways you are developing your local community?
When an individual becomes unemployed they often receive social benefits designed to temporarily assist in sustaining an individual or family. Government programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and food stamps or private assistance programs are available to help individuals and families through these ordeals. However, these cost community money. According to www.modestneeds.org, this can be as high as $8664.36 per person each year for public assistance.
The other side of this coin is the amount of revenue a community loses when an individual is not working. If a worker is making $10 an hour (what many would consider a “living” wage), they have a take home pay of $17,777.16 each year that is predominately reinvested into the community (rent, food, etc.). When both aspects are taken into consideration, unemployment has a total effect of $26,441.52 on the community per each unemployed individual!
We need to evaluate what our inacation actually costs. It's easy for us to look at this and place blame, "why aren't these people working? they should just get a job!". What are we doing to assist in this? It's time to stop looking out only for ourselves, but to truly be neighbors to those who most need it. It's messy, it's hard, it's frustrating, it's right. Build your community. What are some of the ways you are developing your local community?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
love and wrath.
Today I was reading Psalms 2. As I was reading through it a couple things stood out to me. First, the significant foreshadowing of Jesus' ministry (see vs. 2, 7-8). Secondly, the emphasis the author puts on the wrath and vengeance of the Lord.
God is all powerful, creator of the universe, all knowing, etc., but I sometimes have trouble putting this idea that "his wrath can flare up in a moment" (Psalm 2:12) and "God so loved the world" (John 3:16). Maybe you are with me on this. But then I try to put myself into as similar a position as possible (i.e. God's view rather than my own), and I think I have come to somewhat of a better understanding of this dichotomy. Let me explain.
I work in Center City Allentown helping (or trying to) chronically unemployed and the homeless try to find work (and actually succeed in their positions). When I start working with somebody, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, I encourage them, give them opportunities for support, and as many chances to "move ahead" as possible. Some individuals respond well to this, they show increased self esteem, a new attitude towards finding a job, and eventually succeed. Others, however, choose not to follow the directives of the program, start pushing the limits to exploit the benefits, and even sell drugs outside the building during training hours. Despite my desire to help them and see them succeed, I have to admit, they make me extremely angry- even to the point of removing them from the program.
One would say that I have every right to remove them from the program. They choose not to follow the directions of the program, even though those rules lead to many benefits for them, and they go their own way, putting them back into the same destructive cycles they were a part of before they entered the program. God has set up the same thing for us: His Son IS the directive he has given us. The benefits of following Jesus are numerous; right relationship with God, Heaven, joy that surpasses understanding, etc. God has done a lot to make those things possible. Ultimately, if we choose to go our own way rather than follow God, he is going to be upset- as Psalms 2 points out.
God's wrath is a wrath of frustration, not hate. It is because He has loved so much that his wrath is so great. Not an easy thought to get past, but in the end, would we really do it differently?
God is all powerful, creator of the universe, all knowing, etc., but I sometimes have trouble putting this idea that "his wrath can flare up in a moment" (Psalm 2:12) and "God so loved the world" (John 3:16). Maybe you are with me on this. But then I try to put myself into as similar a position as possible (i.e. God's view rather than my own), and I think I have come to somewhat of a better understanding of this dichotomy. Let me explain.
I work in Center City Allentown helping (or trying to) chronically unemployed and the homeless try to find work (and actually succeed in their positions). When I start working with somebody, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, I encourage them, give them opportunities for support, and as many chances to "move ahead" as possible. Some individuals respond well to this, they show increased self esteem, a new attitude towards finding a job, and eventually succeed. Others, however, choose not to follow the directives of the program, start pushing the limits to exploit the benefits, and even sell drugs outside the building during training hours. Despite my desire to help them and see them succeed, I have to admit, they make me extremely angry- even to the point of removing them from the program.
One would say that I have every right to remove them from the program. They choose not to follow the directions of the program, even though those rules lead to many benefits for them, and they go their own way, putting them back into the same destructive cycles they were a part of before they entered the program. God has set up the same thing for us: His Son IS the directive he has given us. The benefits of following Jesus are numerous; right relationship with God, Heaven, joy that surpasses understanding, etc. God has done a lot to make those things possible. Ultimately, if we choose to go our own way rather than follow God, he is going to be upset- as Psalms 2 points out.
God's wrath is a wrath of frustration, not hate. It is because He has loved so much that his wrath is so great. Not an easy thought to get past, but in the end, would we really do it differently?
Monday, September 28, 2009
the time has come.... and gone.
Looking back over this past month, things have been hectic to say the least. When you first start talking about launching a new church (or any major undertaking for that matter) there are countless twists, turns, surprises, and joys that you encounter. And all this work is done and prayed through and thought about until you get to a pinnacle, a crux of the issue. And then it's gone.
We have experienced this at Riverbend. We have done (most of) everything we needed to do to launch a new community of faith in the Lehigh Valley. We didn't want to stop at just one launch day, so we made a launch month to celebrate and kick off this adventure. And now that time has come and gone and we are at a very new point. We have transitioned our "Advance" Team to a "Leadership" Team, we have made the jump from preparing monthly gatherings to going weekly, and we have even doubled the number of community group studies. But what we find now, is that our reliance on God to maintain us and support us has grown exponentially. Much of what took us a year and a half of labor to prepare for now has to be done in a week. We have to now transition our roles to not only setting direction and systems, but to training leaders to minister to those that God brings through our lives. We have to make sure we are who God created Riverbend to be.
Our launch on September 13th was a huge pinnacle for us, and God richly blessed that occasion. But what I am realizing now is that God, even through the messiness of life, is daily giving me opportunities to rely on Him for these challenges and moments. I am growing increasingly certain that the harder I try in my own effort, the harder the problem seems. God has given us the blessing of being a part of HIS work, He has not given me the assignment of doing it for Him. As I write this I am struck with the feeling that I may have been looking for MY time to come, and all the work I was doing to make that happen. Jesus, may my time be gone, and your time come.
Check out what God is doing at www.riverbendonline.org
We have experienced this at Riverbend. We have done (most of) everything we needed to do to launch a new community of faith in the Lehigh Valley. We didn't want to stop at just one launch day, so we made a launch month to celebrate and kick off this adventure. And now that time has come and gone and we are at a very new point. We have transitioned our "Advance" Team to a "Leadership" Team, we have made the jump from preparing monthly gatherings to going weekly, and we have even doubled the number of community group studies. But what we find now, is that our reliance on God to maintain us and support us has grown exponentially. Much of what took us a year and a half of labor to prepare for now has to be done in a week. We have to now transition our roles to not only setting direction and systems, but to training leaders to minister to those that God brings through our lives. We have to make sure we are who God created Riverbend to be.
Our launch on September 13th was a huge pinnacle for us, and God richly blessed that occasion. But what I am realizing now is that God, even through the messiness of life, is daily giving me opportunities to rely on Him for these challenges and moments. I am growing increasingly certain that the harder I try in my own effort, the harder the problem seems. God has given us the blessing of being a part of HIS work, He has not given me the assignment of doing it for Him. As I write this I am struck with the feeling that I may have been looking for MY time to come, and all the work I was doing to make that happen. Jesus, may my time be gone, and your time come.
Check out what God is doing at www.riverbendonline.org
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